The Duchess of Sussex says that she contemplated suicide over articles published in the press.
Speaking to Oprah Winfrey in a 90-minute CBS interview, Meghan said she would sit up at night with friends and family calling her over the articles in the press.
She said: “I was ashamed to say it at the time and ashamed to have to admit it to Harry. But I knew that if I didn’t say it – then I would do it. I just didn’t want to be alive anymore. That was clear and real and frightening and constant thought.”
She added that she thought her suicide “would be better for everyone” in one of her darkest moments.
The Duchess said she went to the Royal Household’s HR department for help after contemplating taking her own life, but was told she could not get help, even though they felt for her, because she was not a palace employee.
She also said that she went to one of the most senior palace personnel asking for help.
She said: “I went to one of the most senior people to get help. I was told I couldn’t because it wouldn’t be good for the institution.”
She added: “It takes so much courage to admit you need help.”
Speaking of how her low mood impacted her at work, she said :We had to go to this event at the Royal Albert Hall after I told Harry I didn’t want to be alive anymore.
“In the pictures, I see how tightly his knuckles are gripped around mine. We are smiling, doing our job. In the Royal Box, when the lights went off, I was just weeping.”
