“She Must Make Me King” – The Prince Consort who wanted Kingly status

He was the outsider who never truly felt he belonged – a man of charm, culture, and conviction, who walked several paces behind a Queen but longed, quietly and then not so quietly, to be recognised as her equal. Prince Henrik of Denmark, the French-born husband of Queen Margrethe II, stirred controversy late in life when he declared he would not be buried beside his wife in Roskilde Cathedral – the ancient resting place of Danish royalty.

His reasoning was blunt. “If she wants to have me buried next to her, she must make me King Consort,” he told a Danish newspaper in 2017. “End of story – I couldn’t care less.”

It was a statement that shocked Denmark and reignited a decades-old debate about his role in a modern monarchy. But in truth, Henrik’s frustration had simmered quietly for much of his life in royal service. Unlike the British tradition of deference and stoicism, the Danish Prince was more candid and more opinionated. He was also, as it later emerged, unwell.

Prince Henrik’s outburst came just weeks before the Royal House announced he had been diagnosed with dementia. The decision to speak out, and the media storm that followed, took place during the early stages of his cognitive decline. It casts his remarks – and the hurt behind them – in a more sympathetic light.

Born Henri de Laborde de Monpezat in France, he married Margrethe in 1967, shortly before she became heir to the throne. He adopted a new language, new religion, and new country – and yet remained perpetually one step removed from the institution he joined. Though granted the title of Prince Consort, he was never made King, a title that in constitutional monarchies such as Denmark is reserved for the sovereign.

The idea of a “King Consort” has always been a constitutional contradiction. In the British system, for instance, Queen Consorts – such as Camilla – are wives of reigning monarchs, afforded ceremonial status but no power. A man granted the title “King”, however, would traditionally be understood as the reigning sovereign – something no monarchy has wished to imply about a consort.

Prince Henrik struggled with this distinction. He felt, increasingly, that he had given much and received little formal recognition in return. His long-standing resentment was no secret to those close to the Danish court. In a rare statement in 2017, the Royal Household acknowledged that “for many years the Prince has been dissatisfied with his role and the title he has been awarded… the decision not to be buried next to the Queen is the natural consequence of not being treated equally with his spouse.”

But any hint of bitterness is tempered by the sadness that came with his illness. In September 2017, it was revealed that Prince Henrik had been diagnosed with dementia. The royal court said the decline was “greater than expected considering the age of The Prince” and might bring changes in judgement, emotion, and behaviour. For many Danes, the pieces began to fall into place. What once looked like petulance now seemed more like the desperation of a man losing control – of his faculties, his dignity, and his identity.

Prince Henrik died in February 2018, aged 83. In accordance with his wishes, he was not interred at Roskilde but cremated – his ashes scattered partly in the sea and partly in the private gardens of Fredensborg Palace. A sculptor had already crafted a twin sarcophagus for the Queen and her husband; it remains unused, a striking symbol of a royal marriage that, while affectionate and enduring, was also marked by inequality and misunderstanding.

Henrik loved Margrethe, and she loved him. They spent their final days together quietly in France, a place he always considered home. But the man who stood beside a Queen for half a century died feeling that he had never quite been seen as her equal – not in title, nor in the eyes of history.