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Mary and George married on 6th July 1893 in the Chapel Royal at St
James’s Palace. Once married, the new Duke and Duchess of York
lived at York Cottage on the Sandringham Estate, a fairly modest
and simple house for Royalty nonetheless it was a favourite of the
Duke’s. As readers will know George and Mary went on to have six
children: Edward (later King Edward VIII), Albert (later King
George VI), Mary, Henry, George and John. Like many of that time,
the children all had a very strict upbringing, they were placed in
the care of three nannies, one was dismissed for insolence and
another for abusing the children. They were replaced by Charlotte
‘lalla’ Bill, who would fondly remember the children right up to
her death in 1965. It was upon embarking on motherhood that Mary
really came under scrutiny, she appeared to many as a very distant
mother, failing to notice the abuse of Edward of Albert and
allowing her youngest Son John to be placed ata private farm at
Sandringham likely to hide his epilepsy from the public. We do have
to balance this uncaring, harsh mother though with a mother who
loved and cared deeply for her children. It has been noted that in
private Mary was a caring mother in many respects, often showing a
fun-loving, frivolous side to her children and teaching them
history and music.

On 22nd January 1901, Queen Victoria died and Mary’s father-in-law
ascended the throne as King Edward VII. George and Mary were now
styled Their Royal Highnesses The Duke and Duchess of Cornwall
and York and for the majority of the year they undertook a huge
tour of the British Empire, visiting Gibraltar, Malta, Egypt,
Ceylon, Singapore, Australia, New Zealand, Mauritius and Canada. It
was the most ambitious Royal tour ever undertaken and the thought
of leaving her children for such a lengthy period left the Duchess
in tears. (Surely proof to all the sceptics that Mary loved her
children).
Just over nine years later, on 6th May 1910, King Edward VII died
and his Son George ascended as King George V, Mary of course was
now Queen Consort. King George V and Queen Mary were both crowned
on 22nd June 1911 at Westminster Abbey. It was when Mary became
Queen that she came into conflict with her Mother-in-law, the Queen
Mother, Queen Alexandra. The two Queens were on friendly terms
although Alexandra could be very stubborn, demanding precedence
over Mary at the funeral of Edward VII, she did not rush in leaving
Buckingham Palace for the new King and Queen nor did she hand over
some of the jewels that were now rightfully Mary’s. Surely it is
not this that gives people the impression that Mary was a nasty,
uncaring Queen, by the sounds of it this conflict was brought on by
Queen Alexandra and her alone.
Something that stands out for me about Queen Mary happened during
the First World War. Purely for her love of her country and wanting
to help the war effort, Mary instituted an austerity drive at the
palace whereby she rationed food and clothes. She also visited
wounded and sometimes even dying servicemen in hospital, although
she found doing this great emotional strain – nobody told Mary she
had to do this, she just did it because she wanted to do it.
Although we live in the same country, it has always been known that
the Royals and us live completely different lives, by having Mary
visiting the wounded and dying it was as though it was showing that
in times of war, nobody lives separate lives. It was not long after
the First World War that the King and Queen had to deal with a more
personal war. At just thirteen years of age, their youngest Son,
Prince John died from a severe seizure, both the King and Queen
were devastated with Queen Mary writing that the news was ‘a
great shock, tho for the poor little boy’s restless soul, death
came as a great relief’.
For the latter half of her husband’s reign she was a staunch
supporter of him, from his decision to change the Royal House to
Windsor, Irish Independence to Indian nationalists. , Mary
maintained an air of self-assured calm and her intelligence and
judgement were second to none. When King George V died on 20th
January 1936, Mary’s eldest son Edward ascended the throne as King
Edward VIII although within a year Edward caused a major
constitutional crisis by announcing his desire to marry his
twice-divorced American mistress Wallis Simpson. Queen Mary
disapproved of divorce, which was of course against the teaching of
the Anglican Church, she also thought Mrs Simpson was wholly
unsuitable to be the wife of a king. Wallis Simpson had been
presented previously at Court to King George V and Queen Mary but
after the Abdication crisis Mary refused to meet her either
publicly or privately. Although her love for Edward would never
lessen, she could never comprehend why Edward would renounce the
throne in favour of his personal feelings, a question that to this
day nobody still knows the right answer.
In later years Mary took a keen interest in the upbringing of her
granddaughters, Princesses Elizabeth and Margaret, taking them on
various excursions in London, art galleries and museums. In 1942 at
the height of the Second World War, her youngest surviving Son,
Prince George, was killed in an air crash while on active service,
a second child to predecease her. A third child predeceased Mary in
1952, King George VI died on 6th February of that year and Mary’s
Granddaughter ascended the throne as Queen Elizabeth II. For a
short period of time there were three Queens in the country, Queen
Elizabeth II, Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother and Queen Mary.
Queen Mary died on 24th March 1953 from lung cancer at the age of
85. Some ten weeks before her Granddaughter’s coronation Mary
stated in her will that in the event of her death, the coronation
must not be cancelled, a remarkable gesture from the Queen don’t
you think?
So there we have the evidence, it’s time for my verdict. Yes, I do
think Mary was a Queen of hearts. Throughout her long life Mary
suffered such tragedy, the loss of her husband and three sons
surely must have taken its toll on the Queen and yet people still
to this day describe Mary as a harsh and uncaring woman. Mary may
have had traditional values, but what is wrong with having values,
she disapproved of her Son’s marriage to Mrs Simpson but quite
frankly she wasn’t the only one, she stood her ground with many
people including her husband and in-laws but who doesn’t. Most
importantly of all Queen Mary was entirely dedicated to her
position as Queen and that is what stands above everything else. It
is often said that Queen Elizabeth II steers her reign upon the
influence of her Grandmother Queen Mary and lets be honest our
Queen, 62 years later, is not doing too bad now, is she!
photo credit: Gwyther-Jones via photopin
photo credit: janwillemsen via photopin
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Queen Mary lead an interesting life. How her family had to leave Britain due to being in debt, and that she couldn’t be afforded a proper education, so when the family moved to Italy she spend her days going through the museums, seeing and learning and when something really caught her interest she would go and collect all the books and information she could on it, so she was a self taught woman, who made sure to pass that along to her children and when the current Queen’s parents didn’t want their children to have a “strict education” Queen Mary took it upon herself to make sure they received one, by using the same approach that she had used for herself. They went on rounds to museums, and she bought them books to learn from. During WWII in her widowhood she let her fun side show, as she waged a personal battle against the ivy at her nieces home where she was living for safety and how anyone that came to visit her was immediately handed a shovel or clippers and they went out to work on the ivy while they visited, and many times if she was out in her car and saw a soldier she stopped and gave them a ride (many American’s were surprised to know that the “kind, grand lady” who had given them a lift was actually a Queen). Parents from her generation and position did not spend a lot of time with their children in day to day life, but that does not mean that she did not love each of them. She just disapproved of the choices that Edward made, because regardless of loving him she did not have to love or support his choice, something I’ve witnessed in my own family. My grandmother didnt’ speak to my uncle for years, but she always loved him, but could not support that choices that he had made with his life, but eventually they made up. But Queen Mary was devoted to her country and the monarchy, which she and her husband had personally saved from going the way the other European monarchy’s had done during WWI, she probably saw his choice of “self before duty” as a personal attack on everything that she and George V had fought so hard to save in order to hand to him one day. Then she could not publicly be seen to support him over George VI, as that could have destabilized the fragile way in which George VI had come to power, Edward was still alive young and healthy, the first time since James II that the outgoing and incoming kings were alive at the same time, Mary broke tradition by attending the coronation to show support, and steered her grandchildren through the rough times while their parents were away. We really see that the Queen, just like her grandmother, when her children were young, duty kept her away from the kids (especially Charles and Ann), but the queen makes time and supports her grandchildren, much the way that Queen Mary did for her and Margaret, which to me speaks volumes to the love that Queen Mary had inside of her. She loved her husband, her children, grandchildren, her country and the crown. She stood by her husband as they rebranded the family image, she visited hospitals, veterans, gather clothing for the poor, established a sewing circle- that even thought the name and act of sewing have changed still exist- then she helped to teach her unprepared son and daughter in law how to be King and Queen for the people, all while imparting her sense of love of family and the ideas of duty and what it takes to be an actual monarch upon her granddaughter. Her legacy lives on today, and every time the Queen walks into a hospital, I bet she can still here the reply she once recieved when, as a child, she asked why they always he to go to the hospitals, to which Queen Mary replied “we are the royal family and we love hospitals”.