Yesterday, the Duchess of Cambridge attended Best Beginnings, a charity partner of Heads Together, which is working to end the stigma around mental health.
The Duchess was on hand to introduce the ‘Out of The Blue’ film series. The series focuses on the issues that new parents face and how it affects their mental health.
Before the Duchess started her speech she took a moment to pay tribute to those who lost their lives in the terror attack in Westminster, saying: “Before I begin, I know you would all want to join me in sending our thoughts and prayers to all those sadly affected by yesterday’s terrible attack in Westminster. We will be thinking of all the families, as we discuss the important issues we’re here to talk about.”
Kate then dove into her speech, admitting that even she has had problems with “confidence” as a mother.
Admitting that she has needed help may be a turning stone for many parents finding comfort that someone in her position isn’t invincible from the trials of parenthood.
After paying respects to the terror attack victims, Kate continued in her speech: “I would like to thank Best Beginnings for inviting me here to introduce the ‘Out of The Blue’ series. This collection of films highlights how vital it is to be open about our mental health especially in the early years of parenthood.
“Personally, becoming a mother has been such a rewarding and wonderful experience. However, at times it has also been a huge challenge- even for me who has support at home that most mothers do not.
“Nothing can really prepare you for you the sheer overwhelming experience of what it means to become a mother. It is full of complex emotions of joy, exhaustion, love, and worry, all mixed together. Your fundamental identity changes overnight. You go from thinking of yourself as primarily an individual, to suddenly being a mother, first and foremost.
“And yet there is no rule book, no right or wrong – you just have to make it up and do the very best you can to care for your family. For many mothers, myself included, this can, at times lead to lack of confidence and feelings of ignorance.
“Sadly, for some mothers, this experience can be made so much harder due to challenges with their own mental health. Two in ten women will suffer mental health issues that can occur during pregnancy and in the year after birth, often clouding their moments of joy with a real sense of darkness and isolation. Many of these women also suffer in silence, overwhelmed by negative feelings, but also afraid to admit to the struggles they are facing due to the fear or shame of what others might think if they “aren’t coping”.
“Some of this fear is about the pressure to be a perfect parent; pretending we’re all coping perfectly and loving every minute of it. It’s right to talk about motherhood as a wonderful thing, but we also need to talk about its stresses and strains. It’s ok not to find it easy. Asking for help should not be seen as a sign of weakness.
“If any of us caught a fever during pregnancy, we would seek advice and support from a doctor. Getting help with our mental health is no different – our children need us to look after ourselves and get the support we need.
“Conversations are crucial for mental wellbeing and they should be part of everyday family life. Talking about a problem with a friend or another trusted person can be the beginning of getting better.
“This week, as we look forward to Mother’s Day, I would love to see everyone celebrate and value the fundamental importance that mothers play in family life.
“Mothers take on an overwhelming responsibility of caring for their families. Their role is vital in providing unconditional love, care, and support at home, particularly in the early years of a child’s development. We, therefore, should do everything we can to support and value their hard work.
“The work of Best Beginnings is vital. By providing tools and resources to help parents establish their own confidence and their own self-awareness, Best Beginnings enables mothers and fathers to do the best they can for their families.
“The Out of the Blue films you are about to see are also an amazing example to all parents, that starting conversations and asking for support is a real source of strength. They have been created with real parents, talking honestly and openly about their own experiences of parenthood.
“I am now delighted to introduce two brave parents who have contributed to the films, Jessica and John Warne.
“Thank you.”
While there, the Duchess of Cambridge also had the chance to speak with some of the mothers who were part of the films and learnt about when they realised it was okay to reach out for help.
No rule book, no this, no that…. this from someone who has an army of helpers, a Nanny (Senior one) and others, as well as ma middleton, a housekeeper, chefs, gardeners, dressers and the like.
How about the suffering mothers and father’s going through this without the privilege of a speech writer, someone else doing their cooking, cleaning, or the money to get any kind of help they need?
These are people WITHOUT the handouts that middleton and her husband who can pick and choose what they do.
They are the ones to listen to – not someone who gets out of a car, in a thousand pound plus outfit, walks 5 steps, has all the security in the world then reads a speech written for them, spends minimal time with those truly in need of help then speeds away back to her walled up mansion.
Again, it goes back to the “me” and “I” mentality that irks so many.