Hospital: Hello Good morning.
Mel Greig, pretending to be the Queen: Oh Hello there, could I please speak to Kate, my granddaughter?
Hospital: Oh yes, just hold on a moment
Michael Christian: Are they putting us through?
Mel Greig: Yes
Christian: [laughs] If this has worked, it’s the easiest prank call we’ve ever made. Your accent sucked by the way. [laughs]
Greig: I’m not used to playing old 80-year-olds.
“Queen”: Kate my darling, are you there.
Nurse: Good morning ma’am, this is a nurse speaking. How may I help you?
“Queen”: Hello, I’m just after my granddaughter Kate, I wanted to see how her little tummy bug is going.
Nurse: She’s sleeping at the moment [gives details of her treatment and condition]
“Queen”: OK, I’ll just feed my little corgis then. [Christian barks in the background pretending to be a corgi] When is a good time to come and visit her, because I’m the Queen and I need a lift down there. Prince Charles, Charles.
Christian, pretending to be Prince of Wales: Mummy, is everything OK?
“Queen”: Oh wait my Charles, when can you take me to the hospital Charles?
“Charles”: When will it be alright to come down and see her? Maybe in the morning, if that’s ok?
Nurse: I would suggest that any time after nine o’clock would be suitable, because the doctor will be in in the morning, and will just be getting her freshened up in the morning. I would think any time after nine.
“Charles”: “Is Wills still there, or has he gone home? I haven’t spoken to him yet.
Nurse: He went home at about half past nine, probably about nine o’clock last night.
“Charles”: Lovely, but they’re all ok, everything’s all right?
Nurse: Yes [gives more medical details] I think it’s difficult sleeping in a strange bed as well.
“Charles”: Yes, of course, it’s hardly the Palace is it?
“Queen”: It’s nothing like the Palace is it Charles. When are you going to walk those bloody corgis?
“Charles”: Mumsy, I’ll go and take the dogs outside.
“Queen”: I need to go visit Kate in the morning. My dear, thank you so much. Thank you. Bye
[Phone call ends]
Greig: She was giving us real information!
Christian: Mumsy, I think they believed everything we just said.
Greig: I am the Queen, bow for me, bow for me.
Christian: Bow for you and your terrible accent.